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Condensed World History

For those that don't know about history...... here is a condensed version.

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were:

1. The invention of beer, and

2. The invention of the wheel.

The wheel was invented to get man to the beer.

These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals

2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to barbeque at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly barbeques and doing the sewing, fetching, and hairdressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Marines , and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America .. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history....... It should be noted that a Liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before forwarding it.

A Conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth of this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers and to more liberals just to pi$$ them off....

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New Preamble to the Constitution

The following has been attributed to State Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA.

'We the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden, delusional, and other liberal bed-wetters. We hold these truths to be self evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim they require a Bill of NON-Rights.'

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV, or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone -- not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc.; but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful; do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes. (This one is my pet peeve...get an education and go to work....don't expect everyone else to take care of you!)

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat, or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful. (AMEN!)

ARTICLE IX: You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to PURSUE happiness, which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an over abundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.

ARTICLE X: This is an English speaking country. We don't care where you are from, English is our language. Learn it or go back to wherever you came from! (Lastly....)

ARTICLE XI: You do not have the right to change our country's history or heritage. This country was founded on the belief in one true God. And yet, you are given the freedom to believe in any religion, any faith, or no faith at all; with no fear of persecution. The phrase IN GOD WE TRUST is part of our heritage and history, and if you are uncomfortable with it, TOUGH!

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Buy American: Depends

"Buy American" sounds nice and patriotic but the phrase is incomplete.
It implies that no matter what, given a choice of products, I'm buying from my fellow Americans.
 
Sorry, I'm not supporting people that build junk.
 
My credo: "Buy American Quality".
 
Headsup Americans, you build junk, you deserve to go out of business.
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Parasites Among Us

We use the terms Socialism, Marxism and Stalinism to make our points about the policies and goals of the Democrats and RINO's. Those labels do have negative meaning to people my age (62) but not to younger people. I don't believe that idealogy is being taught in school today. 
Tells us what a poor job our schools are doing teaching the world's "ism's".

Words create pictures, which in turn create emotions. Unfortunately, Socialism, Marxism and Stalinism in today's world when you use those words to describe these dispicable forms of government, no pictures come up, therefore no emotion.

To get the proper level of emotional reaction to the direction Democrats and McCain Republicans want to take our country, a word has to conjure up a thoroughly disgusting picture to get the proper emotion.

The best I've come up with is Parasitism. Parasitism is the notion that "parasites" see all the rest of us as prey, someone to suck the life out of.

Who are parasites? To name just a few:

Clinton                                           parasite (both of them)

Obama                                           parasite

Kennedy                                        parasite w/ a brain tumor

Waxman                                         parasite

Schumer                                          major parasite

California state government          parasites

All Progressives                            regressive parasites

Trent Lott                                        disgusting parasite, resigned early to begin sucking on taxpayers before the law changed

Trial lawyers                                    where do you start

EEOC                                               government sanctioned blood sucking entitiy

EPA                                                  see above

Welfare, food stamp receipients     see trial lawyers

Non-tax paying illegal aliens          law breaking parasites

Unions                                              parasites demanding more pay for doing less work
Uneducated Voters                         those who vote for parasites

Unfortunately, we have politicians who are parasites on both sides of the aisle. Their goal in life is to create one blood sucking entity after another (see universal health care). I've had it with them. Everything we can do to call out these parasites the better. Maybe, politicians, our native criminal class, will get the message that stealing is really p*ssing people off.

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Blood Sucking Entities in Our Midst

What's behind parasite politicians keeping our country dependent on foreign oil?
My explanation is that by making fuel more expensive, it forces more people out of their cars and into public transportation.
 
What happens when everyone is dependent on public transportation, the government and unions control we, the people.
 
We, the People, lose the ability to respond to issues very far away from them if the government shuts down public transportation.
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How I'm Going to Vote in November

The choice is going to be either a RINO or a Socialist.
 
Since I vote my pocketbook, the choice is hold your nose and vote for McCain or bend over and vote for either Hillary or B HO.
 
Unfortunately, McCain has my vote.
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Exit Strategies-someone is lacking knowledge of our history

Feel free to copy it, I copied it from somewhere else

I am amazed that the Democrats have the intestinal fortitude to smack at Bush of his lack of an exit strategy from Iraq.


Let's see Franklin Delenor Roosevelt got us into Japan and Germany 60 years ago. Yes, I said 60 years ago. I'm still waiting to see what his exit plan is from those two places.


Harry Truman got us into Korea. I'm still waiting for his exit strategy.


Kennedy got us into Vietnam. His exit strategy? Oh, I just remembered, his party cut of funds, so we had to surrender, "Great Plan".


Bill Clinton got us into Bosnia. His exit plan? Oh, we're still there!


With this kind of leadership from the Democrats, Bush has, let's see, another (60 years take away 5 years there about) 55 years to come up with an exit strategy

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Hegelian Law and Global Warming

Looks like the use of that old chestnut called....Hegelian Law:

Step one: CREATE A "PROBLEM": Create it or take one that does exist and build it up out of all proportion to its real importance;


Step Two: PUBLICIZE THE "PROBLEM": Make sure a story about this problem appears in the news media each and every day, in newspapers, news magazines, radio, and television. Hit it again and again in a "steady drumbeat" that soon has people who don't pay real attention to politics (which is the majority of them) clamoring for a "solution" to the problem;


Step Three: OFFER A "SOLUTION": A solution that takes away one or more of our rights and further undermines the constitutional protections we all are supposed to enjoy. One that involves higher taxes (to pay for this "solution," of course), and one we would not have allowed them to do without this previous conditioning of the public.

WORKS LIKE A "CHARM :)

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I didn't create this but I like it

I didn't write this but I like it

I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America.

 

Try to have things like the UnitedCaucasianCollege Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

 

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

 

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

 

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

 

I have the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

 

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

 

I believe that if you are selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

 

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

 

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry a** if you threaten them after they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or "stop" in English, see the above lines.

 

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

 

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

 

I don't hate the rich I don't pity the poor.

 

I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

 

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

 

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

 

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement.  And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

 

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

 

And if you don't like my point of view, tough...

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Enemy Within

The Senate has passed an amendment sponsored by Senator Cornyn that condemns the recent "General Betray-Us" ad by MoveOn.org. The vote was 72-25.

The amendment was to:

To express the sense of the Senate that General David H. Petraeus, Commanding General, Multi-National Force-Iraq, deserves the full support of the Senate and strongly condemn personal attacks on the honor and integrity of General Petraeus and all members of the United States Armed Forces.

The following Senators, all Democrats, voted against condemning such attacks on General Petraeus and our troops:

Akaka, Bingaman, Boxer, Brown, Byrd, Clinton, Dodd, Durbin, Feingold, Harkin, Inouye, Kennedy, Kerry, Lautenberg, Levin, Menendez, Murray, Reed, Reid, Rockefeller, Sanders, Schumer, Stabenow, Whitehouse, Wyden

Obama and Biden didn't vote. Of those Democrats who did, a majority voted against Cornyn's amendment. from Powerlineblog.com

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Government intervention screwed things up. Medical care in this country being the prime example.

As a physician, I will tell you that the ever-increasing presence of government involvement in medical care has driven up the cost dramatically.

 

Whereas previously the number of non-producers (i.e. administrators) to caregivers was very small, that ratio has now inverted and the administrators in many instances outnumber those who provide medical care. They all have salaries that need to be paid in addition to the salaries of those who actually do the work. There is layer upon layer of government regulatory agencies dictating medical care and, of course, this becomes a self-perpetuating cycle requiring new administrators to oversee the implementation of these grand ideas.

 

At the same time, physicians are being forced to sell their practices and become hospital employees. Medicine has become big business run by administrators without an ounce of understanding of medicine. I could go on and on, but suffice to say that the whole system is a mess and will only get worse as the government continues to force their way deeper and deeper into the system.

 

Tell me anything the government administrates that operates efficiently and cost effectively. Why anyone would want the government running anything as important as health care is beyond me. I have yet to meet anyone, physician or patient, who prefers socialized medicine over the system we had here.

 

The leaders in government push for socialized medicine knowing they themselves will never be subject to it. Even in nations that have such a system, there are two types of health care. One for the rich and one for everyone else. If you think access to health care is bad here, do your homework. It may look good in theory but it doesn't play out well in those systems. If you want health care COST to go down, get government out of health care. If you want the care, you receive to continue to go down, keep pushing for universal health care.

 

First time in American history no will mean no.  You're 75 years old; you smoke and need major surgery.  You will be told no.  You mean you won't perform the surgery and I need to go to another hospital.  No, it means no.  You mean I will have to pay for it myself.  No the answer is no.  If you do find a doctor to perform the surgery, he or she is in violation of the law, as are you.  This is the Canadian system.

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Culture (lower life form)

 

Washington DC where your tax dollars go to die

 

Washington DC steals from the working people and gives to the idle poor

 

Washington DC was formerly a swamp that has morphed into a sewer

 

Listen to a thumb-suck session on National Public Radio (NPR, during Republican Administrations I think that NPR must stand for Negative Propaganda Radio)

If you cannot understand something as simple as making a lead pencil, why should you be surprised that you don't understand why someone is making a lot more money than somebody else?

Culture of Corruption versus Culture of Treason and Lying or Lying by Omission

Tough choice

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The whole aim of practical politics

"The whole aim of practical politics," wrote H.L. Mencken, "is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary." Mencken was writing in 1920, but some things never change.

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And here’s a few more things that secular reality stylists don’t want you to know about the South:

Southerners wrote the Declaration of Independence, the Constitution, and Bill of Rights


The Civil War ( "") was not a true civil war, nor was it driven by slavery


Southern women had independence, equality, and freedom decades before suffrage


South makes up the overwhelming majority of the armed forces who protect our country and are willing to take a bullet for these ungrateful and derisive jackasses. The South accounts for 35% of the population, but 41% of the military recruits.

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Progressive Defined

Democrats call themselves progressive. Well.....they are. Here's what they want to progress from and to:


From                                                 To

Freedom of speech                          Only they have freedom of speech

Free to practice your religion         Freedom from all religion

Right to keep and bear arms           A police state where only the police, military and elite
                                                         have arms

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